1 – Step Out
Physically step out. YES even during this pandemic, you can still find love as hard as it may seem. Just be careful about it and stick to government rules. You can go for walks, runs, bump into someone while doing errands. The possibilities are endless when you are physically outside. Show up and be optimistic.
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Stepping out is always the first step to meeting people. If I hadn’t literally stepped out of my comfort zone and stepped out of the country, I wouldn’t have ever started dating.
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My first dating experience didn’t work out, but I was happy to meet this person because it introduced me to a the world of dating. I met the type of guy I wasn’t typically attracted to, but still gave the ‘encounter’ a chance because I felt like that experience was Gods way of softening my heart.
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So like I said it didn’t work and I feel that was because of bad communication & also the fact that he was a father. And as a woman who had never dated anyone, it was hard for me to ‘graduate’ to that level. (side note: It might be hard for a woman who has never dated to start with a man who already has kids. He’s already been here and there, done it all to the point that there is nothing new to look forward to for/with him while you are at ground zero. However, though it might be hard, It is still possible. Just make sure nobody is making the other feel ‘lees than’ because of their age or parental status).
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No matter who you are with, you do have to be willing to give 100%. Physically step out.
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2 – Position Yourself Physically, Spiritually & Emotionally
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(PHYSICALLY)
Go out. If you are in a cafe, sit where you are most likely to be noticed. Go to events and talk to people. In some situations, it helps to be with a friend in others it’s beneficial to be alone.
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If your current hang out spots aren’t giving you any results, change things up a bit. If you are a christian and you’ve been in the church for a long time, consider other ways you can meet someone. It doesn’t necessarily have to be in church. I could be on a missions trip, it could be online, it could be at a party, it could be at the airport…..which is my favourite idea. There’s just something I like about an airport. Maybe next time at the airport check into the VIP lounge….you may meet your VIP!!
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Never forget the first steps first. Before you step out take a shower, wash you hair and smell nice. That is already 80% of the work done. Never underestimate the power of good hygiene. It’s not all about makeup and jewellery and the latest fashion, take care of the basics
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Join a dating website. My close friends have men their HUSBANDS through these dating websites. Not boyfriends HUSBANDS. So if you’re somehow church hasn’t worked for you. Try online. Notice how I say ‘hasn’t’, NOT ‘doesn’t’. Just because it hasn’t worked for you in the past doesn’t mean it will never.
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Prepare yourself. One thing I noticed about the friends in my life who got married is that they were reading marriage books and self help guides. And even more recently I learnt about the testimony of a woman who got married in her mid 30’s. She said “start plan your wedding” in faith so that when you meet hime alot of the practical work is already done and you can really focus on the marriage as opposed to the wedding.
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(SPIRITUALLY)
Sometimes when you’re so in love with Jesus you might feel like you can cope as a single person forever. If you truly feel that way make sure your motivation is pure and your not just resolving to that option because you feel you will never meet anyone – for whatever reason. Position yourself spiritually by investing in yourself spiritually. Read books & pray – I’ll expand on this point more in a bit.
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(EMOTIONALLY)
Do your best to get rid of any emotional baggage. Maybe you’ve been rejected in the past. Maybe you feel things never work out for you. Maybe you feel you are not very lucky. Ditch all the negative thinking and wipe the slate clean.
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3 – Pray.
Sometimes you may be doing ALL of the above but what you really need is a miracle. What you can do to accelerate that miracle is to pray. What I’ve noticed about the women around me who have gotten married is that they had a genuine desire for it. You really have to desire it, to the point where you surrender the ‘power’ so to speak, to a higher power. God. Maybe you really want to get married but you feel you are too broke, or maybe you come from a broken home, or maybe your just broken…Well God doesn’t look at that. People are always talking about having confidence. I am. That’s because I believe confidence is power. Confidence says, well I may not be perfect, but I will walk with my head held high. Let me tell you, just because you get married, you don’t automatically become this super human….. you still have issues. Married people are just two people who accepted each other the way they are. So why shouldn’t someone accept you and LOVE you wholeheartedly? you are loveable… PRAY.
Please check out the last post 7 Things Being Single Has Taught Me (while desiring marriage as a christian woman next!
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Until the next post!
