We need to stop being afraid of telling men our ultimate goal.
Which is, ‘To be happily married’
Tell him you want to be married and if he runs away, PLEASE do not chase him. You aren’t saying you want to marry him, you are saying that you personally want to be married.
I think in so many cases we as women have been almost convinced to not tell a guy or a man that we are dating, what we want when we first meet him. We hide the fact that we desire to be married. And that marriage is our ultimate goal, in the hope that he will be more receptive to us, or he will commit to us, or we wont intimidate him. This needs to stop. We need to be able to express what we want and actually mean what we say and just be straightforward to avoid wasting time.
.
The more we pretend that we don’t want to be married, the more we are afraid to express that is our ultimate goal. The more we will keep being taken advantage of, and used. After you tell him you want to be married, you do not have to chase him. You’re just telling him what you personally desire. Not that you want to be married specifically to him. You’re just expressing that, “hey, one day I would love to be married”. I would love to have a family. I’d love to be joined in a Godly union, you’re not saying, “I want to marry you”. Or “will you marry me?”.
.
Listen more than you speak.
If you truly don’t want to express your desire for marriage straight away or if you feel that he will not be receptive of it listen more than you speak.
.
If he asks you what you are specifically looking for, you can tell him “I will know when you see it”. If you go into specifics about what you actually want, that will give him the opportunity to be inauthentic. Instead, let him talk and show you who he is. Men love talking about themselves because they rarely get the opportunity to be listened to with a calm and loving energy. Be that for them and take notes.
.
Men do it
When I think back to the some of the dates that I’ve had/men I’ve met or communicated with from dating apps and online dating sites; Some of them actually told me, either on the first meet or within the first few conversations, that eventually their goal was to be married and/or to have a family within the next five years. “I would like to have a family” they just told me straight up.
.
On the first date, 2 of these men told me that they were looking for something serious and 1 of them told me he was the only single one amongst his siblings (he referred to himself as the ‘single uncle’). The other guy just treated me excellently so I could tell he was a very good guy – husband material.
.
They didn’t hide the fact that that what they specifically wanted was a committed relationship. Now those 4 guys who told me that are happily married and I know a couple actually have had kids.
.
So you see, the men who are serious and want the same thing as you will not be afraid to hear what you have to say. And they also won’t be afraid to tell you what they want, personally. Because when they are telling you what they want, they aren’t saying I want this with you, they are just saying, I want this, whether you and I end up working out or not.
.
We just have to be more clear about our desires. We just have to be more straightforward and know that it’s not a threat to the relationship, especially in the beginning phases. It is not considered as a mood or joy killer. It would only be that to the wrong person. This is something we need to be able to understand very clearly in order to get better results with dating. So ladies. Never be afraid to express what you want, explicitly to a man. Never be afraid, because if he’s the right one for you, he will receive that information with open arms. And if he is scared away, that means he is not the type of man you want anyway. Which is perfectly fine.
.
I hope this hope this blog post has encouraged you. Please do check out the last blog post which was 3 practical strategies for meeting your spouse in 2021, And I look forward to catching up with you on social media, or in the next blog post. See you then. Bye.
Also kindly join the mailing list for regular updates.
Instagram @DesiringMarriage
Pinterest @DesiringMarriage
Facebook @DesiringMarriage
Twitter @DesireMarriage
Until the next post!
